Friday, October 08, 2010

a girl and her dog

So, my sexy love has been keeping a blog for over a year – it isn’t a public one, because she is mostly keeping it as a journal/diary so she can turn it into a yearbook at the end of each year.  Well, it really is sad nobody can see it cause IT ROCKS!  She had almost 400 entries last year, which is more than 1 per day – and they were all amazing, with tons of pictures and very very funny insight…that’s my girl – one sexy funny lady!

Last night she was posting about the Racing the Cane event Troy and Daph started, and she had the best pictures of us driving home after it.  I not only love these pictures, but the sequence they are in tells a subtle little story – two of my favorite things in the world: Tristan and Sebastian…enjoy…

tRex and Sebastian

Sebastian and tRex

Sebastian and tRex kiss

Sebastian and tRex happy

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Get ready to laugh…It is PRINCE (jared)

I make no illusion that i can sing…i did sing in various choirs for several years (9) as well as some quartets and duets but i really haven’t sang solo much and have never sang karaoke – until our Cruise that is…

So, my sister in law Joy suggested one night that we go sing Karaoke after dinner…on the cruise there was this thing called, “Princess Pop Star” (not Pop Princess, as Lissette kept calling it, making it seem like a “queen” show!) at one of the bars on the ship.  This was last Thursday and the top 2 singers moved on to the “finals”…Well, i really have no problem getting on stage and making a fool of myself, but i have to be in a certain mood to do it…i can be shy at times and singing in front of people solo has never been something i felt i could do…UNLESS it was the right song – and it HAD to be the right song…so, on the way to the bar i thought to myself, “if they have “Kiss” by Prince as a song choice, i’ll go for it”…

well, the second i saw the books of songs i knew they’d have it.  These books were bigger than the “i’m pushing 90 years old and can’t read small type” KJV Bibles you see holding down coffee tables.  Sure enough, multiple versions of the song awaited me…so, i quickly scribbled down my choice and went back to my family who were waiting for Joy and Daph to choose a song…none of them thought i’d go since i was playing it down the whole way over…

They called me first, i got up and just went for it…i was laughing quite a bit – throwing out some dance moves – kicking out the jams…and it was pretty fun, to say the least…Joy and Daph also sang and they both nailed their songs as well…i hoped 2 of us would move on (only 2 could) to the finals, but alas – our family vote of 10 people was split up between us 3 leaving the field open for another only myself and a dude from Malaysia moved on to the finals…

When i won that night, the guy told me that i had to be to the Princess Theater for “rehearsal” the next afternoon and i wouldn’t have a teleprompter for the lyrics, so it all sounded pretty legit!

The next day i went to the rehearsal and the other 7 people sounded amazing (well, 6 people – the poor guy from Malaysia didn’t know the words to his song and just stood there poor guy…they let him change, but he still didn’t know all of the words)…the other guys were so cool, very nice and we all had a great time…they told us all to be back at 4:45 so we could go backstage and get the running order of the night, etc…

So, i got to the theater and we all went backstage…during rehearsal i went 3rd and though i would be the same for that night…well, they brought us the list and i WAS LAST!!!  Everyone was saying they couldn’t wait for me cause they loved my song and dance routine…i was pretty stoked…the theater held around 300 people or so and i was excited to try and get people to laugh since that was my only goal – if you can’t get them to love your voice, get them to laugh and they will remember you and you might win!!!

It came time for me to go out and i couldn’t see a thing with all of the bright lights…i vaguely realized the place was mostly empty (maybe a 1/4 full?) and my family was somewhere near the right hand side of the stage towards the front…So, the guy that introduced me seemed like a big fan cause he kept talking to me about my dance moves and i got a sense he wanted my autograph :-)  He asked me a few questions and away we went!!!

And, here is the result!  Hope you enjoy!!!  Oh, and i didn’t win – didn’t think i would cause most everyone was professional singers that nailed their performances…BUT, i was the only one that had the MOVES…

This is in HD, so if it takes a while to start and you would rather have a low quality version of it – you can get it HERE

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

My Jonsi Review of “Go”



This album makes me happy. Completely and utterly. I was worried that the album as a whole wouldn’t live up to “Boy Lilikoi”, the first single, and at the same time I didn’t want it to be 9 “Boy Lilikoi” songs in a row…if Sigur Ros has taught me anything, it is that music can be expansive, epic and evolving – all on the same album and usually within the same song. Sigur Ros is one of the most amazing bands in the world and usually, when you pull an individual out of an incredible band like that and they produce music on their own - it usually isn’t that great (Robert Plant, Rodger Waters, David Lee Roth, etc.), while at other times it can go well (John Lennon, Morrissey), but even then it never really touches the complete feeling you get from the group as a whole. That was my concern with Jonsi and, while it isn’t as epic and all consuming as a Sigur Ros release, it far surpasses 95% of the music released every Tuesday of every month of every year.

Jonsi’s voice is such a unique instrument in and of itself and the arrangements work perfectly with his falsetto sing/song style…wow, I’m on my 5th time through since I got it and I don’t see myself stopping the listening party until I take my seat in Denver for his concert. I’d give this 9 out of 10 and would only hold back that last point based on the fact that it isn’t as long as it could be. I could use an epic, evolving and expansive track that goes beyond the 8 minute mark…but, I will take what I can get – gladly…

You can actually stream the album if you want to listen to it and see what you think.  Just go HERE and click, “stream album”…or use which i love, by the way, to use to listen to music before i buy…if you want to purchase it you should honestly support your local record store (not a big chain, but a mom/pop place) – if you don’t have one or are just too damn lazy – i use when i can’t find something at the local record store that i want…it has the highest quality mp3’s for cheap…


Monday, April 05, 2010

My Philippines Home

For those of you that are interested in reading what i do each year in the Philippines, you can go back and read THIS post or THIS post that tell of my experiences here.  I’ve come every year, at least once a year since I started at Pro Look full time 10 years ago.  It is one of the highlights of my job, only tinged by sadness at being away from my family and that i haven’t been able to bring my sexy love with me yet.  Hopefully next year!

So, I've been here a week and have some pics i’d like to share of what i’ve done and seen so far…


Let me begin by saying that the most I've laughed in a long time was when i almost killed Alson and Myla’s little boy.  Here is a picture of him where he is happy and smiling and unaware that i will almost be the last person he sees alive…

philPhoto (2)

So, we are out for lunch.  In the states i have to be honest, i’m pretty tired of Pizza Hut…their quality has REALLY slipped a ton (i used to deliver for them, so i know a good pizza hut pizza and i haven’t had one in years)…BUT, here in the Philippines and in South Korea the pizza is different.  It is honestly amazing…i love pizza, as anyone can tell you, and having my good ol’ pizza hut back is something i take advantage when i come here.  Ok, so i’m sitting in the booth across from this mini-alson and it has taken him a while to warm up to me…Dusty scares him, so when i first meet him he isn’t sure he wants anything to do with me…i have the type of personality that just can’t stand if someone doesn’t like me unless i give them good reason that is – so, i make it my mission to get him to like me…i do this in the usual way – by acting like i’m 4…every time he looks at me i make some crazy sound or do something silly…pretty soon i have him eating out of my hand…literally…

We are waiting for our pizza to arrive and he is playing with this little miniature game of connect 4 with these tiny tiny little checker pieces…i decide to show him how to make them “spin” by flicking them with my finger…he loves this, so i take it a step further by blowing them around the table…he tries to spin and blow them, but can’t quite get the hang of it.  So, just as our food is arriving i start spinning multiple ones and blowing them at him…he is laughing so hard so i try and go faster…i have about 3 on the table spinning and i reach for a 4th, spin, blow and reach for a 5th…i hear him choking and have no idea why – he is holding his throat and starts coughing and then crying.  Alson leans over him, pats his back until he calms down and asks him if he is ok and what happened.  He said that he leaned over the table to blow them back at me and i blew one right into his mouth and he swallowed it!  I was so busy grabbing another one i didn’t see it happen at all…Dude, i was laughing so hard tears were coming to my eyes.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  Alson was laughing as well, which is good since i almost killed his child!

Here is a picture of one of the checkers (not the actual one, i’m sure that “surfaced” a couple of days later)…

philPhoto (1)

UPDATE: I showed Myla this post and thought she would laugh – well, she was pretty upset and I felt bad laughing while I was showing it to her.  I guess she was pretty worried that he would have problems with it in his stomach.  Here I am, father of the year, not even thinking of that!  I’ll have to find out what happened – if anything.  It was a really tiny checker, but she was pretty upset!



We went to lunch today to the Cookbook Kitchen.  It is ok food, but it was very fun having everyone there:

Philippines (4)

Clockwise: Me, Alson, Myla, Sheryl, Ron, El

I was laughing pretty hard at the menu because El ordered at fish dish that was described as, “Parmesan Crusted Fish: RICH, SUCCULENT AND BAKED”  We both started laughing over the choice of words.  I love how they threw “baked” in there, as it didn’t have the same sensory appeal as “rich” and “succulent”…we kept saying it over and over during lunch…classic…

On the way back you drive down a famous road called, “MacArthur Highway”.  The stretch the factory is on is several miles that has the huge trees that line it.  They are really quite amazing:

PH (4)

These trees go for miles and miles…So, this year when i arrive i notice every single tree has a white body painted on it:

PH (5)

 PH (1)

It is a little hard to see from these pics, but both sides of every single tree has a white body spray painted on it.  I asked them what was the deal and they said that the government is going to widen the road and will need to cut down all of the trees.  A protest group decided to spray each one of them with bodies to show that trees have life i guess.  But, to me, it is a little creepy – i’ve taken to calling it the “ghost highway” because the bodies look like little ghosts…i am pretty bummed about them cutting the trees down, even though they really do need to widen it…It is just way too beautiful and tragic to alter…



When i first got here this time i decided to get a Drives License.  Dusty said this would be a good idea if i drive at all, which i have in the past, so i got one last week.  Part of the process is going to the mall and getting a 2 x 2 picture of yourself.  I thought this would be used on the license, but it wasn’t – only on the application – which sucks cause it turned out better than the picture on the actual license:

Phil 2 (1)



The license looks like someone punched me in the face!  So, i go get this picture taken and the lady hands me a little bag – when i open it i realize that i didn’t get just one 2 x 2 picture, but i got like 12 pictures, big and small…

So, i’d been working crazy late hours every night and Sunday night (Easter) was the longest of them all because everyone was coming back in the morning and i wanted to make sure i’d set everything back up the way it should be…i was exhausted from lack of sleep and a little delirious…it was around 4 in the morning and as i finished up i looked over and saw the bag of pictures…i decided to place them around the office in different places so they would always see me watching them and wouldn’t forget how handsome i was until i returned the next time…here are a few of the “hiding places”:



Phil 2 (4) EL’S MONITOR





So, i get a quick couple of hours of sleep and as i’m waking up i get a text message from El…he is already downstairs with the other workers and he asks, “Easter Jared Picture Hunting, Huh?”  It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about and then it dawned on me that i hid pics on easter, like eggs for kids…classic…

I was excited to come down stairs to their laughs (remember, i like making people laugh – just ask Mini-Alson right before he choked)…When i get into Alson and Myla’s office, here is what I see:

Philippines (3)

Alson said every morning he was going to honor his new Idol before working so he would be more prosperous!  I laughed pretty dang hard at that one…He is so freaking funny it kills me…

Friday, March 12, 2010

My Talk on The Spirit

I'm one of those rare and crazy people that actually enjoys speaking in front of large groups.  It is one thing being a DJ on the radio, you don’t really see the audience (i always imagined them in their underwear :-)   But, it is something else entirely to stand up in front of a few hundred people and spout what you hope to be words of wisdom.

A few weeks ago i was asked by Jeff Fischer to speak after Bryce Laycock…who had just returned from his mission. Jeff said he couldn’t promise me how long I'd have to speak, if any time at all, because return missionaries are given the freedom to speak as long as they want.  Blake Sanford actually took the whole sacrament meeting a few months back, so i figured it was a good chance Bryce might do the same…

When i prepare to speak, whether it is a talk in Sacrament or a lesson in Elders, etc. – i usually just make a bullet list of points i want to hit with little notes to trigger thoughts I'd had during the week that i would like to cover.  I leave it open incase i feel inspired to share something and it has always worked out, i feel, pretty well…

If you are interested, here is a link to the talk:


You can right click and save it to your computer and then add it to your iPod if you want to listen on your daily run :-)


Saturday, February 20, 2010

I love Valentines Day for 1 reason…

The kids!  Ok, Lissette and I don’t really celebrate Valentines Day for each other, although over the past few years she has surprised me at work with Cookie Bouquets, notes taped to my computer/door, etc…I’ve given her things over the years at well (this year i got her a very cool pop-up book of The Little Prince), but for the most part – we don’t really put a big emphasis on VDay cause our Anniversary is a week after it…

BUT, i do have a tradition on Valentines that is a yearly event and one i LOVE…i have my beautiful wife to thank because she suggested it the first year i did it when Paris was in Kindergarten…

Here is what i do…the day they are having their Valentines Party at school - you remember those!  The brown bag taped to your chair, the little cards you spent a hour the night before writing everyone's names on and taping a little candy heart, taking that bag home after school, ripping the candy off and throwing the paper on the ground without reading what was written…awwww, Valentines as a kid!  So, on that day i wait until they’ve been at school about an hour before i show up…i walk into the classroom with a big balloon and a large chocolate kiss…all of the kids are so cute cause they always yell out, “no way!” “Paris, your dad!”  “Tristan, look!!!” 

This year i added a step by kneeling down and asking them to be my valentine – they were so cute!  I was worried that Paris might one day get “too old” for it and feel embarrassed…i was happy when i got home Thursday night and she told me one of the girls in her classed asked her if she was embarrassed i showed up at school and did that and kissed her and she said, “no, why?” and the girl said, “i’d be embarrassed if my dad did that” and Paris said, “well, my dad is cool”…

Here are some pics from this year as well as years past…


IMG_0201I always try to get the coolest balloons – they have to be BIG so the other kids in the class can’t miss my kid!  I picked out this Flower for Tristan and a heart for Paris and they told me after i chose the perfect balloons for each of them.  When they got home they found out Sebastian is afraid of balloons and would run away from them!  Notice the bags on their tables – memories!!!


IMG_0204 Paris is holding the Chocolate Kiss.  Sadly, i don’t have a picture of going to Esher’s school, but his was the next day and when the girls got home he said, “Mom, i really want to ask Paris and Tristan if i can have a bite of their Kisses, but i really don’t want to share mine tomorrow!”  Pretty funny…

IMG_0206Right as i was leaving Paris asked me to take a picture of her looking through the balloon…so cute!


Valentine from Dad to Paris 001

This balloon was great because it played music – I'm sure it drove her teacher crazy!




Valentine from Dad to Paris 009

My cookie bouquet from last year and my sexy love!

Valentines_Day_2008 005My cookie bouquet from 2 years ago from my sexy love!


Valentine From Daddy to Esher 002

esher enjoying his valentine 003

esher enjoying his valentine 004 Can you tell Esher loved his Chocolate Kiss last year???  This year Sebastian got to it and ate part, but Esher still had most of it…one day he will realize he can’t put food on his bedside table without the BIG SNIFFER Sebastian finding and grubbing it…if the dog isn’t by my leg i know something’s up – i found him in Esher’s room licking the paper on the ground…


Valentine From Daddy to Tristan 002 I can’t remember why, but for some reason i gave Tristan hers at the house last year…



Valentines_Day_2008 023 Valentines_Day_2008 024 Valentines_Day_2008 025

This was the first year i did it for Tristan, so you can see on the top picture she is very surprised and didn’t know why i was there…i LOVE doing this!!!


We also have a tradition on Valentines to take the kids to something special.  Usually it is a play in Salt Lake, but this year we went to a play at BYU called A Thousand Paper Cranes…It was pretty cool and after we folded a paper crane to send to Japan for a peace monument…

 Valentines_Day_2008 051 In 2008 before watching Sleeping Beauty

We ALSO have a tradition of giving the Girls some form of jewelry…man, Valentines is the best!

Valentines_Day_2008 061

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Bronson is AWAKE!!!

I've been posting on my Facebook about our friends Matt and Sara Staker...their little boy had a tragic accident 10 days ago - you can read Sara's account of it <a href="" target='blank'>HERE</a>.  Then you can work your way back through the posts to read Sara's amazing account of what has been happening...she has captured the attention of the globe (over 15,000 hits noon today so far) - well, i had the wonderful opportunity to help her last night by offloading some texts from her cell phone - i went to the hospital to drop it off, give them a quick hug and come back...i had NO idea that this morning that he would "wake up" from his lethargic/unresponsive state and be back to himself again...



You can keep up on what is happening on her blog at:

We love Matt and Sara and their boys and are so excited for them!

Also, Jane has posted on her blog various ways to help the family out with the tons of medical bills (life flight alone was $15,000!!!)…the family isn’t asking for this, only your prayers – but her friends and family know how much they will have to face after all of this and we want to make sure they get some financial help that is so needed for the long road ahead…

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Because your day isn’t complete

Without a little “Sebastian in the Snow”

sebastian in the snow

He LOVES snow!  He will just run outside, jump in it, lay down and stick his nose deep into it and flip his head up…then run around more, drop in it and eat it and repeat over and over…i feel bad because he gets pretty hot in the house and acts like the snow is water to someone that’s been in a desert for a week…

Monday, January 25, 2010

Post Pic from Being Fat

Sorry, i forgot to do the post-picture…well, here it is in all it’s “glory”…i have to say, on both the before and after i was not sucking it in nor was i pushing it out…i was just standing relaxed (and making a face in the first one :)  I’ll put them side by side for easy comparison…


So, this week is only exercise and eat smart – no soda, sugar, etc…i decided that since my name was Jared i might as well go on the “jared diet” :-) which is actually just walking to Subway and getting something small and walking back…it is a mile roundtrip and i got the flatbread with chicken and cheese…honestly, i have never been a huge fan of Subway (except for a brief semester at UNLV when i had the meatball footlong about every meal with the chocolate chip cookies – is it any wonder i look like the before pic above?)…so, after lunch i gotta say i’m comfortable – not stuffed like i usually eat, and that was the goal…hope i can keep it up…it was hard not getting a soda cause i love water, but when i eat out i really HATE the water they serve (tastes gross) and i always forget to bring my own water…i know i could have done better (i got ranch on it – a little, but ranch nonetheless and i got a cranberry apple rasberry drink) but i really really can’t go 100% all out, as i mentioned before, cause i will not – WILL NOT stick with it…i know myself…if i don’t enjoy what i’m doing (exercise, food, etc) i wont do it…

Speaking of exercise, this morning i ran with Sebastian…i was going to get up at 6:45 and i actually set my alarm for that early…well, one look at how dark it was plus the fact that i was up late working on computers meant turning off the alarm and getting up at 7:30 with the kids for our morning scripture reading…i went running after that and Sebastian was in heaven…i, on the other hand, was nervous cause he will stay close to me but doesn’t understand that cars do come at him from the back of us…i like to listen to my iPod while running, so i can’t hear the traffic very well and it all boiled down to me thinking i need to find a more safe place to run…

I’m planning on hitting the gym before going home for dinner and FHE…Tristan has the lesson tonight…i love that girl!

Saturday, January 23, 2010


So, my beautiful, sexy and amazing love called me yesterday (day 10) at 3:00 and said, “i’m so hungry” – that’s all it took…we both were DREADING the weekend cause it sucks on the cleanse…so, i said, “shall i grab food on the way home?” and she jumped on it!  I’m so bad!  If i’d said, “my love we are so close – we can make it 14 days” she would have been, “yeah, you are right”…she’s done that for me when i’m struggling…but the second she gave me an opening i’m all over it – LET’S EAT!

So, we made it 10 days…we didn’t come down the way you should normally – juice, etc…which i wouldn’t suggest at all, but the food tasted AMAZING…we had Korean – i had Soon Dubu Jjigae which is a soft tofu soup…it is very spicy and they say having some spicy soup is the best way to come down…Lissette had Kimchi jjigae which is Kim Chi soup and this is the most preferred way to come down because one of the things on the list of foods to get your stomach going is Cabbage and Kim Chi is nothing but cabbage…in a spicy soup – ideal for post-cleanse food…

So, we both lost about 10 pounds and are determined to work out and “earn” eating what we want…if we exercise we get to have the things we like (for her, sugar cookies and for me Dr. Pepper)…but, not until we’ve gone a week of working out…next week we need to just eat simple and no In-N-Out, deserts, etc.  Then the week after slowly introduce them back in with our exercise.  I can’t say, “i’m done with sodas” or “i’ll never eat cookie dough again”…food is such a huge part of who i am and who we are as a couple that taking it away and only eating healthy all of the time seems like massive torture to me…in the past i’ve tried to “stop drinking soda” or something like that and i honestly just can’t do it…but, what i can do is drink less and over the years i totally have…when i was younger i would get a Double-Gulp (1/2 a gallon!) at least 2 a day…it was no big deal to drink them all day everywhere i went i’d have one with me…well, i’ve come a LONG way from that…now i’ll hit a bottle or two of mexican coke (the BEST) or a can of Mt. Dew / Dr. Pepper…if i’m home and we have it in the fridge i find myself drinking more (couple of cans a night) but NO WHERE NEAR what i used to drink…i honestly love soda – sorry, that’s my vice – oh and my favorite desert – COOKIE DOUGH!

I’ve done this cleanse off and on for over 10 years and it is hard – make no mistake…but, it does make me feel a lot “cleaner”…one thing i did have this time that i can’t remember having before is i did have a bit of acid-stomach on it…it was pretty much every day, which sucked because i don’t like acid stomach – but also because i didn’t expect it…

Friday, January 22, 2010

QUIT BEING FAT, DAMNIT – Days 7, 8 and 9

Well, a wrap-up of the past 3 days.  I’m on day 10 today so you’ll hear about that tomorrow or when i get around to it…but, as far as the last 3 days, here is what i love/hate about this cleanse:

1. LOVE: Day 8 i weighed myself in the morning to see how much i’d lost in 1 week…it was 9 pounds.  Now, i know this whole thing isn’t for the losing of weight, it is to “detox” and losing weight is a nice bi-product, but it really is nice being lighter, snoring less, having more “wind” when walking up stairs, etc…i’m not delusional enough to think i will keep the weight off, but it is a good little kick-start to hopefully eating less/working out more…knowing me, i’ll get it all back and more in 4 months :-)

2. HATE: I hate not being able to chew…i was meeting with some people here at work and figured my breath doesn’t smell the best, so i threw a piece of gum in really quickly and it was such an odd feeling after a week – to actually chew something…crazy…i do believe psychologically chewing is a very important part of eating….i felt fuller just chewing…

3. LOVE: I love when i drink the salt-flush and about gag/throw up and make all these sounds out loud and my beautiful Tristan says, “Daddy, why do you keep doing that – why don’t you quit drinking it?”  I do love that girl!

4. HATE: I HATE the smell of food everywhere, the commercials ALL OVER TV (even fast forwarding through commercials shows about 15 different food ads – sucks!), driving by In-N-Out, driving by SmashBurger that isn’t open but i’m excited for it, being asked to go to lunch by everyone here that always forgets i’m on it and i LOVE going to lunch with the guys – so, i hate that I'm not done so i can go to lunch with everyone!

5. LOVE: Lissette for being on this at the same time as me…she keeps telling me i’m a wimp cause I wine to her most of all how much i want to eat…and she had no sympathy – which is cool, cause she is on it too and last night she BROKE :-)  Finally she is talking about how hard it is so i can call her a WIMP :-)


Side note – last night i took Paris to Avatar – gotta say, i do love that movie.  Lissette and I saw it a few weeks ago and talked about how great it would be taking the kids…So, Paris woke up 2 hours early yesterday (and she NEVER gets up early and usually gets up late) and spent the time reading the scriptures!  I wanted to thank her for being so good in the morning  so i took her on a Daddy/Daughter date to Avatar…we usually go to lunch and hang out in the afternoon for our Daddy/Daughter dates, but it was SO FUN taking her to the movie…i am SO BUMMED i didn’t take pictures of it – man, i suck!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Yesterday was probably the easiest of the days so far.  Got the mixture correct for my daily drink…not too bad headache wise, weakness wise, etc…maybe it was easy cause i forgot to take any of the cayenne pills!

I have a photography class tonight I'm excited about – i’ve been wanting to learn my camera (Nikon D90) better and hopefully tonight i’ll pick up some tricks!  Although it does take splendid pics even on the auto mode (that i’m embarrassed i use!!!)  Hopefully tonight i’ll have a good idea on how to take even better pics!

Monday, January 18, 2010


Well, the hardest part with all of this cleanse is not the first three days (in my mind) but it is the weekend…the weekend SUCKS when it comes to cleansing…the reason?  Well, lets take an inventory of my weekend…i decided to take Saturday off from work, which hasn’t happened in I don’t know how long – so, woke up Saturday morning, walked the dog, played with the family, took a nap, watched the Saints beat the Cardinals, did some chores around the house, walked the dog, washed the dog, watched the Colts beat the Ravens, watched TV with the sexy wife, went to sleep, got up for church, meetings, watched the Cowboys get killed by the Vikings and then dog, kids, Chargers/jets, shows, sleep…

So, that’s it in a nutshell…i know, a lot of football – i’m a baseball guy and will watch my Rockies throughout the year almost daily – but really only watch football a lot during the play-off’s…so, when i watch games i like to munch and drink dr. pepper or Mexican coke…and when i stay home on a Saturday we like to have a great breakfast…plus, Lissette and I love to eat out (main reason we suck at getting ahead of our bills…oh, and why we both are so fat) and so, if i was to take a Saturday off normally, we’d plan somewhere fun to go eat…last weekend we did Red Robin for dinner on Friday night and Cracker Barrel for brunch…so, big difference when you are sitting there sipping your drink all day…at least during the week i can focus on work and not think about it as much – weekend, not like that at all!  It was so hard yesterday that I’ve been thinking of only going 10 days…

My love got a bad headache on Saturday night and took an Advil – i wouldn’t suggest this on the cleanse – she puked it up about 30 minutes later…I had a pretty bad headache last night as i went to sleep, but i think it was from not managing my drinks better…i was pretty weak and you shouldn’t be bad this far into it…

The psychological part of this whole thing sucks…when you think about food, eating, etc…that is what totally kills you…and the weekend, being with my grubbin’ buddy, makes it very hard!

Friday, January 15, 2010


Well, today i keep forgetting to drink my solution…i’m not really hungry – which is a great thing, and my head isn’t too bad either – which is very surprising with the amount of dr. pepper / mexican coke i consume…i’m not complaining, because i know it is working – i just was braced and expecting it to be very hard (raging headache, nauseous, ready to kill any and all humans within 5 feet of me holding anything edible)…

I did tweak the Sea Salt Flush mixture this morning because yesterday wasn’t as effective…i made sure i had a whole quart and did 2 tsp’s (i did it by memory yesterday and thought it was 1 tsp)…well, it really really worked…i HATE drinking the stuff and actually threw-up a little after chugging the jar – but i LOVE knowing i’m flushing out the crap that is being cleansed…

Paris was SO CUTE this morning – she set her alarm and got up early, got dressed and made breakfast for everyone because “mommy and daddy are on their drinking diet”…i love when she is in her very happy/helpful mode in the mornings, which is very rare – she is more like me – don’t say it is time to get up, don’t say it is time, don’t, don’t, noooo…

Paris did leave a mess in the kitchen for lissette to clean up, but she didn’t mind as long as she didn’t have to cook…Sebastian LOVES it when lissette does the dishes cause he “helps” her make sure they go into the dishwasher as clean as possible…here is a picture of him helping her when he was a smaller puppy – he can’t get on the door anymore now and has to help from the side, which he is just fine with – i always know when he has helped with the dishes cause his head is wet from the dripping of cups on the top shelf…

Sebastian_Loves_To_Do_The_Dishes_003[2] Is that the smallest bit of a tortilla i see??? mmmmmm….

Thursday, January 14, 2010


So, they say the first 3 day are the hardest – and I've found that to be true – but I'd say the 2nd and the 3rd days are far harder than the first…Maybe that is because i tend to eat later in the day, often not getting food into me until noon or later – so my body isn’t really looking for anything in the morning – bad habit, i know.  But, on day 1 i find that my body doesn’t realize that it is missing food since i’m sipping my “jug o juice” and by the time my brain wakes up i’m cuddle up in bed with my sexy…

So, yesterday – day 1 – not too bad…this morning i had the first of my next 13 “salt water flushes”…i couldn’t remember what i did last year, but thought it was 1 tsp – i think tomorrow i’ll do 2 since it didn’t work as well as usual…not to get too far into the yucks, but the “flush” didn’t start for about 30 minutes and it wasn’t as much as i have had in the past…the time isn’t a concern – but the amount is…

So, today i’m feeling it – i got the “Where the hell is your Dr. Pepper” headache going…i got the light headed/weak feeling of lack of solids…but, mostly i’m SMELLING a ton of food smells already.  Last time that was hard, because we get free hot dogs here at work and people are always grillin them up on the Foreman.  Well, i like a good dog (j-dawgs being my fav) so smelling it all the way back here in my office is, um…less than pleasant…

I do enjoy people here at work making comments…my favorite is when josh calls the liquid my “urine sample” jug…here is a picture, so you can see why he thinks that:


photo Is this enough Doctor???

As as side note, i was getting dressed for work and Lissette was separating the clothes into piles…she walked away for a bit and when i went to get into the closet i saw Sebastian had made himself a nice little bed amongst the dirty clothes…i took a picture, but it wasn’t as cute as when i first saw him – stretched out and sleeping…he woke up when i went to get the camera and came to me…after he laid back down i snapped one with my phone…i do love that dog…

photoahhhh….so comfy

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


So, it is on!  And about to come off…Back in 1997 or there about, Lissette and I were living in Korea.  We had this friend Luke…he was classic, but that is another post…so, he told us about this cleansing diet called the Master Cleanse – many of you have probably heard of it because it has become quite “sheik” to do, but back then it was just a bit on the strange side…

So, we started this cleanse that should go for a minimum of 10 days and up to something like 50…i only made it about 4 while Lissette made it longer and Eric (my brother) went the distance if i remember correctly…mostly, it sucks – BUT, when done correctly you feel amazing – you do dump weight, but that isn’t the main reason for doing it – it is to detox your system of all of the crap you eat…

Well, i have done it about 5 times over the last 13 years and today i’m starting it again…here is the main gist of it:

Do the following for 10 – 45 days


(1 day worth)

Juice from 5 Lemons

* If you roll them on the counter to soften them and then cut them and squeeze them you will get more juice

* A juicer is best

* Use a strainer to strain out the seeds

1 ½ to 1 ¼ cups of organic grade B maple syrup

* Should be grade B (or A if you must) and shouldn’t be the stuff you put on your pancakes J…should be Organic and I always use Grade B

Cayenne pepper

* You can do the cayenne pepper one of 2 ways

1: Into the drink mix (people like this cause it gives the drink a “kick”

2: In a separate mixture of water that you drink and then wash it down with some of the lemonade mix

* As far as how much cayenne – it is as much as you can handle.  It is good for you, helps clean the blood, etc…many good properties…I bought the “cool” brand and it was (I think) 100,000 BTU’s…I’d mix it in a little paper cup with water and take it like a “shot” glass and then drink my lemonade stuff…

spring, distilled, or purified (NOT fluoridated) water

* I filled up most of the Gallon jug with water – doesn’t really matter how much cause you can drink as much water as you want throughout the day…I filled it about 2 inches from the top…


This will be your mixture throughout the day and you should never be really “hungry” because you will be “sipping” it to make it last…I take a good few gulps every 30 – 45 minutes to keep the edge off…you can make more the first few days if you find yourself too hungry…I have found this the best way to do the diet (many people make a drink every couple of hours) – having the gallon saves the day for me…


You should drink an herbal laxative tea (like Smooth Move) before bed.


Sea Salt Flush

Every morning when you first wake up you should do a Sea Salt Flush (many people have the hardest time with this part of it, but I think it is one of the most important things you can do on the cleanse…at night the laxative tea will “loosen” things up and the flush will “flush” them out…here is what it is:

- 1 Quart of warm water

- 2 TSP of sea salt (NO IODINE)

    * Mix together until dissolved

- Drink down

     * I prefer to take a breath and hold it while drinking – trying to drink the whole thing in one breath…it is hard but the easiest way I’ve found to drink it down.  Lissette can’t do it at all so if you can’t drink it then you can do a laxative tea in the morning as well…not ideal, but it will work if the sea salt flush makes you want to puke and you can’t get it down…

     * be near a restroom for 30 minutes – 1 hour…you will “go” multiple times during that time…gross, but part of the cleanse for sure…


Coming off the cleanse is very important…you can’t just jump into solid foods or you will be very nauseous and sorry…you should start the morning of your first day off by sipping orange juice throughout the morning/afternoon (many say only juice the first day)…then that afternoon or night or the next day have some vegetable broth (Nate just boiled veggies in a pot and drank the juice)…I personally did juice the first morn/afternoon and then had a broth of Korean soup made of tofu and spices…it was a way to wake up my digestive system…just be careful and read the best way to come off it…if you go longer than 10 days you come down time needs to be longer…don’t jump into solids until at least 2 days after your 10 day (like meat, etc…) – I waited 3 days to be sure before having anything too heavy…



And that’s about it…So, I'm starting it today and I hope to go for 14 days this time (i did 10 days last year)…Lissette is also starting today and Nate is doing it Thursday…

STARTING WEIGHT: 194 (according to my scale, that is about 5 lbs off)


fat OH MAN I’M HUGE!!!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

2010...Day 7

carry on, nothing to see here...

Friday, January 01, 2010

2010…day 1

Well, i can count myself perfect for having written a post every day this year…that is one thing I'm SO proud of Lissette for doing – she is keeping a “journal” of the year every day and adding pictures so making a book for 2009 will be so easy!  She has more than a post a day and i am amazed at how much i have forgotten about the year…incredible…

Well, i know i’ll jack this up and only post for the next couple of days or whatever and then you wont see anything until 2011 – but, in the spirit of new beginnings, here is a post for you today…

We went to a fun NYE party last night at D & J’s and got to hang out with people we don’t see nearly enough!

Here is a pic of Paris with close to a ton of confetti after the bell struck 2010:

iPhonePics 063

Go 2010…lets rock this place!